The Top 5 Lessons My Son with Autism Has Taught Me
The moment you become a parent; every day is filled with learning experiences. My name is Emmanuel and being the father of a son with Autism makes the everyday roadblocks and life lessons a little more challenging, but not impossible.
When our son, Ezra was born there was no road map, operation manual, or Lego Booklet filled with step-by-step directions. Every day was a new adventure. My wife and I are by no means experts, but after spending years watching our children grow and learning alongside with them, we do have stories of success and tales of failure to share.
With it being Autism Acceptance Month, I figured there is no better time to share a couple of those stories. I know that there are parents out there in the same shoes that my family was in. We always loved hearing the honest truth about parenting and raising a child with Autism. Here are just a couple things I’ve learned so far while being the father of a 9 year-old son with Autism.
The Reward System
Since the adoption of the token-based reward system in our house, which has evolved from tally marks on a white board to actual money being deposited in a piggy bank; transitions, desired behaviors, and more importantly the goals we set for Ezra are easily achieved.
This system is commonly used but not exclusive to children with special needs.
We took it a step further, incorporating the use of real money.
This teaches the kids about how to count money and also exposes them to life skills.
For Ezra, he’s understanding that in order to go on an awesome vacation trip like the one we recently took to Disney, we are going to need money.
So far, he’s got enough for a few bottles of water, a couple of cokes and some popcorn. “…Dolla Dolla bill y’all!”
Patience
Our kids going full remote due to the pandemic to me was a blessing in disguise. I was able to sit in on every class of Ezra’s, established a great relationship with his teachers and also got to meet the other kids and families in his class, all of which are the most amazing people.
One of the most important things I learned, and it may seem cliché, is patience. I wasn’t giving Ezra time to process things. When asked a question, my instinct as a parent was to ask Ezra the question again or use a prompt to get Ezra to answer.
I wasn’t understanding that he was thinking about it before giving his answer. How annoying it must have been for Ezra. If anyone had patience it was Ezra, having to deal with dad.
“He Good”
The tendency to want to explain certain behaviors Ezra displays in public especially early on in his development was honestly something I had to work on. Sometimes explaining, when not even being prompted to explain at all. I’ve since then taken the if it works for him, it works for me approach.
If he likes to “drop trou” when using the public restroom so be it.
He’s comfortable. Lol . It is what it is. Stimming, stacking, acting , whatever it maybe as long as its not dangerous or illegal. He good!
Don’t Underestimate
The misconception that a special needs child has this disability that limits them from participating in or engaging in physical/social activities can get tossed out the window. We have tried different sports and group activities to see what Ezra is interested in and hopefully help him discover new passions.
Early on we were hesitant due to a failed attempt at trying karate class. Ezra just wasn’t ready for it. This didn’t stop us though. We kept at it. We found a smaller class at our local community center and enrolled Ezra, myself and his sister Deva. It was less overwhelming than your traditional karate school and he felt comfortable because he had his family attending.
We are still white belts, but I could not be any more prouder of Ezra for committing to it and finishing the classes. Can’t wait to see what else we can try to get into.
Explore and Experience
With us never underestimating what Ezra is capable of, tons of good times come up. We spend tons of time sharing different adventures and experiencing new things. Here are a few:
– Taking the Metra into the city during lollapalooza weekend.
– Riding his first rollercoaster in Santa Cruz
– Walking the Vegas Strip.
– Running his first race along the lake in the city.
– Tailgating at a college football game.
Most recently, hitting up all the popular rides at Disney without any problem at all. His favorite was Space Mountain! As Ezra grows and develops so do we.
Again, these are some of the countless ways my son continues to teach and amaze me everyday. We know there will be challenges and frustrations ahead, but there will be just as many or more breakthroughs of success. We just try to remind ourselves that like many things in life, it’s all about the journey, not the destination.
If you need help along your journey or someone just to talk to, reach out to Chicago Pediatric Therapy ( info@cptwc.com ) and they can get you in contact with a therapist or if you have specific questions you can get in touch with me. Thanks everyone for reading!
